Okay, I know how that sounds. Hear me out.
Or, er, read me out. (Why does that sound dirty?)
Lemme try again.
Please withhold judgment.
Whew, correct verbiage and yet not lending itself to sexual innuendo. Finally, let’s move on.
If he is gay, then there are only two reasons of which I can think that he’d not have just said so by now.
1) The American Idol people have forbidden him to do so. In which case, I’d still have to wish he’d do it anyway and then just sue them if they try to punish him for doing so.
2) The saddest reason of all: He doesn’t want to turn away potential votes by confirming the rumor.
That would indeed be sad. I could definitely understand either of those reasons but it wouldn’t inspire me.
On the other hand, if he’s straight, he could unfortunately (due to the intolerance and hate mongering of many) ensure more votes by dispelling any ambiguity and flat out saying, “I’m not gay.”
Why wouldn’t he do that? Maybe because Adam Lambert is a really cool guy who doesn’t want to justify the boxes in which people place each other. Maybe Adam Lambert finds this need to go absolutely nuts over sexual preference as infuriating as I do and flat out refuses to play that game.
If he’s gay, fine. He’s a great singer and performer and I wish him the best.
If he’s not gay, my opinion is he’s a great person who is standing up to the insanity that is gripping our world and saying, “Nope, not gonna play. You can think what you wanna think.”
That’s something I can respect and, dare I say, idolize? =)
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Why I Will Never Watch American Idol Again
I know, I know.
What? You did what? Are you stupid?
You don’t have to tell me. Read the title! I’ve learned my lesson.
Before this season, I’d never watched American Idol. I’d tuned it out as a glorified karaoke contest, ignored it and gone along my merry way.
I did buy a Kelly Clarkson album and consider myself a fan of hers. I also like Daughtry. However, two palatable artists in seven seasons of artists is not a good record.
This year was different. This year had Kris Allen. I’m from Central Arkansas and work for the same company as Kris’ Mom. I absolutely could not escape Kris Allen. His picture was posted in our elevators every Tuesday on a flyer encouraging us to watch the show and, of course, vote for Kris.
Finally, my curiosity got the better of me and I watched the results show last Wednesday. Then I was hooked. I DVR’d the show last night and flipped my way through it, sparing myself the last song which was absolutely atrocious. I think both contestants are so adorable, really are good singers and seem like two very nice people.
So, why am I never watching again? Two words: The Internet.
I like reading. So, I started reading articles about the competition and, boy howdy, did it harsh my mellow. People hating on Kris because he’s a “Christian Hick” people hating on Adam because he’s a “godless gay”. Ugh.
I read through several so-called articles in which the writers said little to nothing about the singer’s abilities and focused almost entirely on politics. One even went so far as to describe the race entirely in political terms.
If you read this blog, you know I live in Central Arkansas and you know that I’m a Christian. I adore Adam Lambert. I can’t help it, he’s adorable. I work in theater as an amateur but can recognize stage presence and theatricality. He’s an amazing showman.
Kris is very different. Kris is a musician. His focus always seems to be on bringing out the melody, not on theatrics. He comes across as very sincere and has the ability to connect with an audience in a more subtle and moving way more often than Adam.
At the same time, Adam’s exciting theatrics are off putting to some people who find him fake and Kris’ quiet sincerity come across to many people as just plain dull. They tend to appeal in very different ways to very different people.
However, this doesn’t matter to anyone. All they want to talk about is if Adam is gay and why, if he loses, it won’t be because Kris is a better performer but only because of homophobia.
That really gets me hot under the collar.
I want to think that, if Kris wins, it was because his quiet sincerity and musicality appealed to slightly more people than Adam’s exciting energy and theatrics. Or, if Adam wins, it was because people accepted that he was putting on a show and didn’t find him “fake” and were inclined to go get a sandwich or take a quick nap during Kris’ performances.
The comments of the authors of articles and the comments made regarding those articles lead me to believe that there are people out there not voting for Kris or Adam but against one or the other. There are people out there who voted for Kris because they’re spiteful hateful little minds who can’t stand the idea of Adam being gay. There are people out there who voted for Adam because they’re spiteful hateful little minds who can’t stand the idea of Kris being a Christian.
The fact that people are voting against a contestant, instead of for a contestant, has truly made this a political event and I’ve had enough of politics.
And that is why I’ll never, ever watch American Idol again.
What? You did what? Are you stupid?
You don’t have to tell me. Read the title! I’ve learned my lesson.
Before this season, I’d never watched American Idol. I’d tuned it out as a glorified karaoke contest, ignored it and gone along my merry way.
I did buy a Kelly Clarkson album and consider myself a fan of hers. I also like Daughtry. However, two palatable artists in seven seasons of artists is not a good record.
This year was different. This year had Kris Allen. I’m from Central Arkansas and work for the same company as Kris’ Mom. I absolutely could not escape Kris Allen. His picture was posted in our elevators every Tuesday on a flyer encouraging us to watch the show and, of course, vote for Kris.
Finally, my curiosity got the better of me and I watched the results show last Wednesday. Then I was hooked. I DVR’d the show last night and flipped my way through it, sparing myself the last song which was absolutely atrocious. I think both contestants are so adorable, really are good singers and seem like two very nice people.
So, why am I never watching again? Two words: The Internet.
I like reading. So, I started reading articles about the competition and, boy howdy, did it harsh my mellow. People hating on Kris because he’s a “Christian Hick” people hating on Adam because he’s a “godless gay”. Ugh.
I read through several so-called articles in which the writers said little to nothing about the singer’s abilities and focused almost entirely on politics. One even went so far as to describe the race entirely in political terms.
If you read this blog, you know I live in Central Arkansas and you know that I’m a Christian. I adore Adam Lambert. I can’t help it, he’s adorable. I work in theater as an amateur but can recognize stage presence and theatricality. He’s an amazing showman.
Kris is very different. Kris is a musician. His focus always seems to be on bringing out the melody, not on theatrics. He comes across as very sincere and has the ability to connect with an audience in a more subtle and moving way more often than Adam.
At the same time, Adam’s exciting theatrics are off putting to some people who find him fake and Kris’ quiet sincerity come across to many people as just plain dull. They tend to appeal in very different ways to very different people.
However, this doesn’t matter to anyone. All they want to talk about is if Adam is gay and why, if he loses, it won’t be because Kris is a better performer but only because of homophobia.
That really gets me hot under the collar.
I want to think that, if Kris wins, it was because his quiet sincerity and musicality appealed to slightly more people than Adam’s exciting energy and theatrics. Or, if Adam wins, it was because people accepted that he was putting on a show and didn’t find him “fake” and were inclined to go get a sandwich or take a quick nap during Kris’ performances.
The comments of the authors of articles and the comments made regarding those articles lead me to believe that there are people out there not voting for Kris or Adam but against one or the other. There are people out there who voted for Kris because they’re spiteful hateful little minds who can’t stand the idea of Adam being gay. There are people out there who voted for Adam because they’re spiteful hateful little minds who can’t stand the idea of Kris being a Christian.
The fact that people are voting against a contestant, instead of for a contestant, has truly made this a political event and I’ve had enough of politics.
And that is why I’ll never, ever watch American Idol again.
Friday, May 15, 2009
I found some old poems today and am consequently feeling poetic. I'm also really frustrated and felt like screaming at the wind. Then it occurred to me that the wind gets lots of really hard to answer questions thrown at it. The combination of that thought and my poetic state of mind produced the following poem.
Be nice.
Unanswered
Shapeless
Unseen
They shared what had been
The South spoke of rain
It turned into storms
The North spoke of snow
It gathered and swept
The East spoke of sand
It turned into death
The West spoke of fires
It shepherded, kept
This was their custom
This was their way
To crash and roar
To have their say
Again, the four great movers met
Had they found the answers yet?
They asked,
Their own question
The only reply
To the questions we scream
And laugh
And cry
Out to the four winds
The powers who sigh
Bowing trees low
Turning waves into spray
Their sighs moved the heavens
As they went on their way
For again they had no answers
Be nice.
Unanswered
Shapeless
Unseen
They shared what had been
The South spoke of rain
It turned into storms
The North spoke of snow
It gathered and swept
The East spoke of sand
It turned into death
The West spoke of fires
It shepherded, kept
This was their custom
This was their way
To crash and roar
To have their say
Again, the four great movers met
Had they found the answers yet?
They asked,
Their own question
The only reply
To the questions we scream
And laugh
And cry
Out to the four winds
The powers who sigh
Bowing trees low
Turning waves into spray
Their sighs moved the heavens
As they went on their way
For again they had no answers
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Adoption Class
I started tweeting like mad earlier today and realized that I didn’t want to microblog about a certain subject. I wanted to blog about it.
Foster Care, Adoption & Me:
First of all, background check. (Little inside-the-system joke. Okay, it wasn't funny. Moving on.)
Hi! My name is Annie and my parents were foster/adoptive parents. However, I was not a foster/adopted child. That’s a relatively important distinction.
It means: I had the benefit of a stable, loving home but, at the same time, have been aware of the nasty ickiness in the world from a very early age. You’ll note (I hope) that I am still a nice, well-adjusted person and was not horribly scarred or mentally anguished by having been raised with foster/adopted siblings.
For the record: I love my siblings and think they are amazing: Even my sister who is struggling right now and whose daughter I am adopting.
What? You may ask that question. Go ahead.
I can’t tell people how bad Rita’s childhood was. Really. I know things my parents don’t know and I won’t tell them because they’re awful, terrible, disturbing things. The fact that my sister is alive and functioning in any capacity is a freaking miracle.
Rita is still messed up right now but she’s alive and, on some levels, functional. Yes, Rita didn’t straighten up and fly right in order to get her daughter back. That hurts: Especially after seeing all these testimonies of people who have done that very thing. But here is something GOOD about Rita.
Rita quit using drugs when she was pregnant, EVERY SINGLE TIME. You think that’s easy? You think most mothers automatically do that? No. They don’t. Rita is on a long road but there is definitely hope for her because of every member of my family and, most especially, because of my parents.
I’ve mentioned in the past that my parents are saints. Overall some of the most wonderful people you’ll ever meet. They’re getting older and starting to do that thing where they take politics way too seriously…or maybe they’re finally taking it seriously enough. Who knows? I’m not there yet. But still, they are some of the most wonderful people you will EVER meet.
Back to point!
The point is, my parents were watching the news one night and saw a problem. Children in a state system being shuffled like the jokers in a deck of cards.
“Ooops! I got the Joker! How’d that happen? Someone take this back and give me a real card.”
Rather than cluck their tongues and say, “Aw, that’s a shame; those poor kids.” Like 99% of us would do, my parents actually got up and did something about it. Going through the process of becoming a foster/adoptive parent has made my admiration of them skyrocket.
I know now that they didn’t walk down to an office and say, “Hey, you know all those kids who desperately need homes? I’ve got one!”
And have the office say, “Oh! You saint! Thank you SO MUCH! We really, desperately NEED you! Here fill out some forms, we’ll send someone to check out your house right away and do a background check that will take, at most, a month. In two weeks, be back here for a weekend of training. Don’t worry about your kids. We’ll provide child care with professionals that will use age appropriate methods to explain the situation to them because, after all, your kids are a part of this process as well, right? Assuming no red flags go up, we’ll have you ready to go in six weeks tops.”
That is precisely, exactly what did NOT happen. It was pretty much the opposite. It’s like the information, even the first phone number, you need is top secret. It’s locked in a suitcase that, I swear, is hiding up the butt of one of these tight cheeked bureaucrats. (BTW, isn’t bureaucrat the most PERFECTLY spelled word? It’s needlessly complicated.)
There is a serious problem here! Good homes taking in kids, is the solution. So, of course, the system seems to be centered around discouraging as many of these people as possible. The dastardly method? Red freaking TAPE!
There are just so many flaming hoops through which your average person is willing to jump before they say, “You know what? I’m trying to help you out here! I’m leaving.”
Now, there is a Christian organization in Arkansas that tries to recruit foster/adoptive parents and cut through as much red tape as possible. My hubby and I are actually going through this process with them and it’s still discouraging.
Instead of 10 weeks of 3 hour classes, it’s two weekends. Two 9 hour days and two 6 hour days of sorting through depressing stories and statistics that make you want to grab the nearest politician by his overpriced lapels and scream, “WAKE UP!!!” in his face repeatedly…and I mean repeatedly.
You know when you’re watching Family Guy, and they have those quirky asides that last too long? THAT repeatedly.
(Incidentally, how awkward is it that I had to type the numbers two and nine, and also, two and six consecutively in a sentence and yet still give the impression that they were not the mistyped numbers 29 or 26? Come to think of it, that incidental sentence commenting on the awkward sentence was also awkward. Fittingly, awkward is a very awkwardly spelled word. Ye gad! Okay! I’m stopping now!)
Doot. Doot. Doot. Ah!
Sorry, I’d forgotten what I was writing about. Back on point! Bureaucracy!
Part of adoption class is looking at really depressing statistics and stories. The fact is that the number of kids being abused and neglected keeps going up every year. What I was told yesterday is that currently in the US, one in five children will be sexually abused before reaching age 18. The number is one in four girls and one in ten boys.
So, naturally, the good Christian folks in my class asked if Christianity being taken out of schools etc. was the reason for the increase in these issues.
My answer? Nope.
Hmm, this IS a blog. Maybe I should expand on that.
My expanded answer is; bureaucracy is the problem. Americans stopped taking care of each other at some point. They stopped caring for the widows and orphans. Instead, they told the government to do it for them.
“Here, I’ll give you tax money. You hire someone to do it and then I don’t have to feel bad OR do anything! Win-Win!”
The problem is the government isn’t well suited for this type of thing and it’s all gone to hell. Yes, Mom. (If you’re reading this.) I said, hell. Maybe I should capitalize it? Nah, I’ll write it in all caps.
H-E-L-L. My definition of Hell is a place without God. Since God is love and all love and goodness and love come from him, Hell is a place in which love and caring do not exist.
This situation is my definition of HELL on Earth for so many of these kids.
Adoption class points out the primary focus for the foster care system: Get the kids back with their parents.
Train a parent up in the way he should go and when he gets his kids back he won’t neglect/sexually abuse/physically abuse them. That’s their motto!
The idea is that these parents haven’t been taught through example how to be parents. They don’t have any kind of support system in the community. They don’t have anyone helping them or teaching them how to help and teach their kids. They have emotional problems or addiction problems that cause them to act toward their kids in a way they wouldn’t otherwise act.
If you can treat the emotional or addiction problems and give the parents the support they need, they can be the parents the kids need. The kids have attachments, which is GOOD!!!
So, treat the kids. Treat the parents. Make happy productive families.
The problem is you have people like my sister. I love my sister, but this training has shown me one thing definitively: my sister doesn’t really want her daughter back. She’s going through the motions.
I’ve watched these videos and listened to all of these birth mothers and fathers talk about how devastated they were when their kids were taken from them. How hard they worked to get them back.
I’ve listened to my sister make excuses for the live in boyfriend whose arrest cost her the decision of her custody hearing. Your kid comes first.
If someone took my son, I’d crawl up a net of barbed wire to get him back. I would do anything asked. I would visit my son absolutely every opportunity I got for as long as I could.
My sister makes excuses and throws around blame like it’s confetti. She’s not alone. There are definitely parents out there that feel they have to put up a fight, society demands they do, but when push comes to shove, they don’t actually do anything they’re required to do in order to get their kids back.
So, what do you do with those kids?
Find them families. That sounds simple but people have been trained by the media to see these kids as damaged goods. They’ve been neglected and abused and they’ll never be right again. There is no way to fix them. They’re the jokers in the deck. There’s no value assigned to them. At the very best, they’re wild cards and at the end of the day, no one wants them in their hand.
Bullshit!
(My Mom’s going to kill me…I guess I could say crap but that’s semantics really and I’m kind of going for the reaction here so…)
BULLSHIT!
There are great kids in the system that have problems that will take years and years and years for them to even be able to properly grasp. But these problems are not insurmountable if someone cares enough to reach out and help them; really help them.
Will they magically overcome their problems by age 18? Maybe. Probably not.
Will they stop needing you at age 18? Definitely not.
Will they think they don’t need you at age 18? Probably.
Will taking care of a child who has been abused be hard? Yes.
Will it be harder than raising a baby or biological child that was always loved and was raised in a predictable and loving environment? Yes.
But, in general, do the things worth doing in life tend to be easy?
Foster Care, Adoption & Me:
First of all, background check. (Little inside-the-system joke. Okay, it wasn't funny. Moving on.)
Hi! My name is Annie and my parents were foster/adoptive parents. However, I was not a foster/adopted child. That’s a relatively important distinction.
It means: I had the benefit of a stable, loving home but, at the same time, have been aware of the nasty ickiness in the world from a very early age. You’ll note (I hope) that I am still a nice, well-adjusted person and was not horribly scarred or mentally anguished by having been raised with foster/adopted siblings.
For the record: I love my siblings and think they are amazing: Even my sister who is struggling right now and whose daughter I am adopting.
What? You may ask that question. Go ahead.
I can’t tell people how bad Rita’s childhood was. Really. I know things my parents don’t know and I won’t tell them because they’re awful, terrible, disturbing things. The fact that my sister is alive and functioning in any capacity is a freaking miracle.
Rita is still messed up right now but she’s alive and, on some levels, functional. Yes, Rita didn’t straighten up and fly right in order to get her daughter back. That hurts: Especially after seeing all these testimonies of people who have done that very thing. But here is something GOOD about Rita.
Rita quit using drugs when she was pregnant, EVERY SINGLE TIME. You think that’s easy? You think most mothers automatically do that? No. They don’t. Rita is on a long road but there is definitely hope for her because of every member of my family and, most especially, because of my parents.
I’ve mentioned in the past that my parents are saints. Overall some of the most wonderful people you’ll ever meet. They’re getting older and starting to do that thing where they take politics way too seriously…or maybe they’re finally taking it seriously enough. Who knows? I’m not there yet. But still, they are some of the most wonderful people you will EVER meet.
Back to point!
The point is, my parents were watching the news one night and saw a problem. Children in a state system being shuffled like the jokers in a deck of cards.
“Ooops! I got the Joker! How’d that happen? Someone take this back and give me a real card.”
Rather than cluck their tongues and say, “Aw, that’s a shame; those poor kids.” Like 99% of us would do, my parents actually got up and did something about it. Going through the process of becoming a foster/adoptive parent has made my admiration of them skyrocket.
I know now that they didn’t walk down to an office and say, “Hey, you know all those kids who desperately need homes? I’ve got one!”
And have the office say, “Oh! You saint! Thank you SO MUCH! We really, desperately NEED you! Here fill out some forms, we’ll send someone to check out your house right away and do a background check that will take, at most, a month. In two weeks, be back here for a weekend of training. Don’t worry about your kids. We’ll provide child care with professionals that will use age appropriate methods to explain the situation to them because, after all, your kids are a part of this process as well, right? Assuming no red flags go up, we’ll have you ready to go in six weeks tops.”
That is precisely, exactly what did NOT happen. It was pretty much the opposite. It’s like the information, even the first phone number, you need is top secret. It’s locked in a suitcase that, I swear, is hiding up the butt of one of these tight cheeked bureaucrats. (BTW, isn’t bureaucrat the most PERFECTLY spelled word? It’s needlessly complicated.)
There is a serious problem here! Good homes taking in kids, is the solution. So, of course, the system seems to be centered around discouraging as many of these people as possible. The dastardly method? Red freaking TAPE!
There are just so many flaming hoops through which your average person is willing to jump before they say, “You know what? I’m trying to help you out here! I’m leaving.”
Now, there is a Christian organization in Arkansas that tries to recruit foster/adoptive parents and cut through as much red tape as possible. My hubby and I are actually going through this process with them and it’s still discouraging.
Instead of 10 weeks of 3 hour classes, it’s two weekends. Two 9 hour days and two 6 hour days of sorting through depressing stories and statistics that make you want to grab the nearest politician by his overpriced lapels and scream, “WAKE UP!!!” in his face repeatedly…and I mean repeatedly.
You know when you’re watching Family Guy, and they have those quirky asides that last too long? THAT repeatedly.
(Incidentally, how awkward is it that I had to type the numbers two and nine, and also, two and six consecutively in a sentence and yet still give the impression that they were not the mistyped numbers 29 or 26? Come to think of it, that incidental sentence commenting on the awkward sentence was also awkward. Fittingly, awkward is a very awkwardly spelled word. Ye gad! Okay! I’m stopping now!)
Doot. Doot. Doot. Ah!
Sorry, I’d forgotten what I was writing about. Back on point! Bureaucracy!
Part of adoption class is looking at really depressing statistics and stories. The fact is that the number of kids being abused and neglected keeps going up every year. What I was told yesterday is that currently in the US, one in five children will be sexually abused before reaching age 18. The number is one in four girls and one in ten boys.
So, naturally, the good Christian folks in my class asked if Christianity being taken out of schools etc. was the reason for the increase in these issues.
My answer? Nope.
Hmm, this IS a blog. Maybe I should expand on that.
My expanded answer is; bureaucracy is the problem. Americans stopped taking care of each other at some point. They stopped caring for the widows and orphans. Instead, they told the government to do it for them.
“Here, I’ll give you tax money. You hire someone to do it and then I don’t have to feel bad OR do anything! Win-Win!”
The problem is the government isn’t well suited for this type of thing and it’s all gone to hell. Yes, Mom. (If you’re reading this.) I said, hell. Maybe I should capitalize it? Nah, I’ll write it in all caps.
H-E-L-L. My definition of Hell is a place without God. Since God is love and all love and goodness and love come from him, Hell is a place in which love and caring do not exist.
This situation is my definition of HELL on Earth for so many of these kids.
Adoption class points out the primary focus for the foster care system: Get the kids back with their parents.
Train a parent up in the way he should go and when he gets his kids back he won’t neglect/sexually abuse/physically abuse them. That’s their motto!
The idea is that these parents haven’t been taught through example how to be parents. They don’t have any kind of support system in the community. They don’t have anyone helping them or teaching them how to help and teach their kids. They have emotional problems or addiction problems that cause them to act toward their kids in a way they wouldn’t otherwise act.
If you can treat the emotional or addiction problems and give the parents the support they need, they can be the parents the kids need. The kids have attachments, which is GOOD!!!
So, treat the kids. Treat the parents. Make happy productive families.
The problem is you have people like my sister. I love my sister, but this training has shown me one thing definitively: my sister doesn’t really want her daughter back. She’s going through the motions.
I’ve watched these videos and listened to all of these birth mothers and fathers talk about how devastated they were when their kids were taken from them. How hard they worked to get them back.
I’ve listened to my sister make excuses for the live in boyfriend whose arrest cost her the decision of her custody hearing. Your kid comes first.
If someone took my son, I’d crawl up a net of barbed wire to get him back. I would do anything asked. I would visit my son absolutely every opportunity I got for as long as I could.
My sister makes excuses and throws around blame like it’s confetti. She’s not alone. There are definitely parents out there that feel they have to put up a fight, society demands they do, but when push comes to shove, they don’t actually do anything they’re required to do in order to get their kids back.
So, what do you do with those kids?
Find them families. That sounds simple but people have been trained by the media to see these kids as damaged goods. They’ve been neglected and abused and they’ll never be right again. There is no way to fix them. They’re the jokers in the deck. There’s no value assigned to them. At the very best, they’re wild cards and at the end of the day, no one wants them in their hand.
Bullshit!
(My Mom’s going to kill me…I guess I could say crap but that’s semantics really and I’m kind of going for the reaction here so…)
BULLSHIT!
There are great kids in the system that have problems that will take years and years and years for them to even be able to properly grasp. But these problems are not insurmountable if someone cares enough to reach out and help them; really help them.
Will they magically overcome their problems by age 18? Maybe. Probably not.
Will they stop needing you at age 18? Definitely not.
Will they think they don’t need you at age 18? Probably.
Will taking care of a child who has been abused be hard? Yes.
Will it be harder than raising a baby or biological child that was always loved and was raised in a predictable and loving environment? Yes.
But, in general, do the things worth doing in life tend to be easy?
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