Okay, so, almost every company in this country has decided that the perfect amount of time for an employee break is 15 minutes. Thus, America has basically been posed the question: What can you do in 15 minutes?
Apparently, the answer we’ve come up with is: Eat a snack or smoke a cigarette.
That’s what we do and both are killing us.
(Ooooh, Annie, you’re sounding serious.)
Well, this is serious business, people! We’re dying from cancer sticks and diabetes doughnuts.
PUT THEM DOWN!!!
Walk around the parking lot. If your dignity or lack thereof permits, skip around the parking lot. Encourage your employer to get a Wii. Think how much fun break time would be if we were spending it playing and/or watching our coworkers play Wii party games? We’d be doing something other than just doing ourselves in.
If your employer has some aversion to doing this, try bringing a jump rope to work or just a piece of chalk. There’s nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with a grown person playing hopscotch.
If playing in the parking lot makes me a freak and stuffing my face or choking my lungs makes me normal, sign me up for the freak show. I’ll live longer.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Abraham Lincoln Was A Racist
Some of you may read that title and be thinking, “Right On!” and some of you may be thinking, “How dare she?” (Assuming someone other than papermasks ever reads this blog, of course.) However, I’ll probably surprise both sides by the time I’m done.
Now, I love Abraham Lincoln. I think he was a great man who did great things. Even the fact that he suffered from depression makes me love him because he managed to trudge on in spite of it.
My favorite Abe story is about a young Abe and Ann Rutledge. He reportedly loved her deeply even though she was engaged to another man and went into a depression after she died of typhoid. The story goes that the night of the first rainfall after her burial Abe rushed away, startling his friends.
When he didn’t return they went looking for him and found him holding an umbrella over her grave. They approached him, asking for an explanation and he reportedly wept, “I cannot bear that it should rain upon her.”
That story may be an exagerration or just flat untrue. I mean, certainly today that language sounds unbelievable, but that’s the way they talked back then. Proper grammar. Beautiful prose being completely commonplace…
Disease! Death! Prejudicial Ignorance! Enslavement! Insufficient Sanitation!
Okay, sorry about that. I had to remind myself why I really am glad I didn’t live in the nineteenth century.
What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Lincoln.
The fact is that Lincoln, like most abolitionists, was a product of the culture of the time: A culture that viewed slaves of African decent as little more than animals. I'm thinking that people of the time kind of viewed them in a similar way to the way we view animal rights activists.
Note: I am not in any way, shape or form saying that people with more melanin are animals or animal like. Well, any more than any of us is. I am saying that back in the nineteenth century the general consensus was that they were just a notch or two above animals and, for the record, the general consensus was wrong (as it often is).
Now, there were the “moderate” abolitionists like Lincoln who recognized the vicious cruelty being perpetrated by slave traders and owners but “understood” that darker persons were inferior. They actually believed that slavery was so wrong, there was no need to liberate slaves. If you prevented new states from legalizing it and enforced it's ban in other states, the system of slavery would collapse.
This is oddly similar to the tack we took on Communism. We never outright fought to destroy the U.S.S.R. We just did everything we could to keep communism from spreading and waited for it to collapse.
Huh...I'm not really making a point there. It just strikes me as odd. Anyway...
There were radicals, like John Brown, who were the PETA of their day. Insisting, not only that the cruelty stop immediately, but that slaves be given all the rights of other men.
When you look at Lincoln’s life, you can see his opinion changing. The reason? I think it was information. I think Lincoln was ignorant. His heart was in the right place but his understanding of the abilities and nature of visibly darker persons was based mostly on second hand information. If he actually had the opportunity to meet a freed slave, that person had been deprived of even the most basic education.
Remember me talking about how much the culture of the time valued grammar? Think of the worst Grammar Nazi you’ve ever met and populate the world with them. These people prized oration and elucidation so highly, and there you have the slaves: deprived of anything remotely resembling an education and that wasn't accidental.
Then Lincoln met Fredrick Douglas. Fredrick Douglas was a GREAT man. (And, seriously, someone needs to make biopic of his life while Morgan Freeman is still able to play the lead role. I'm just saying...)
When he was a boy he was given as a “house boy slave” to a young couple upon their marriage. The young woman had never been around slaves and, thus, treated young Frederick as she would any other child. She gave him chores around the house and set aside time each day for education.
When her husband, a man well schooled in the slave culture, learned of the lessons he stopped them immediately. His reaction was so violent, the extremely intelligent Frederick Douglas, recognized that something about an educated slave was threatening. So, he carried on teaching himself and educating himself.
Frederick Douglas was eloquent. He was so well read and well spoken that even many abolitionists couldn’t bring themselves to believe that he was the real deal. They speculated that he was simply parroting the words of others. That's how deep the belief that darker pigmentation meant a person was, well, somehow less than a person.
Now, Lincoln and Douglas didn't always agree. Douglas critisized the fact that Lincoln initially merely opposed the expansion of slavery and not emancipation. However, Lincoln's interaction with men like Douglas, men of darker pigmentation that disproved what he had been taught, were the key to his growth as a man. When Lincoln met Douglas, he didn't stupidly and rigidly cling to the belief that all darker people were inherintly stupid like so many others did.
Even the people working to free slaves were colored by the propoganda of the time and limited interaction with former slaves who had been deprived of education and traumatized by their experiences. They made the mistake of confusing ignorance with unintelligence.
That ignorance was steadfastly maintained for just that purpose and given this zealously maintained ignorance among dark folks, it’s not surprising that an equally distressing level of ignorance was maintained among light folks.
What’s my point?
Yes, Abraham Lincoln had an ignorant understanding of skin pigmentation. He was a racist, but not in the way we think of racism today, and probably not for all of his life.
Today, the proof of the equality of man is all around us. People of darker pigmentation speak the same language, have been permitted to achieve high levels of education, they have been allowed to make incredible and significant contributions to our society and culture. Well, some of them have been allowed (that's going to need to be another post).
If you are a racist today, it is because you are stupidly, willfully ignorant.
The fact that Lincoln, over the course of his life, continued to refine his opinion of slaves and those of darker pigmentation is remarkable. It is conceivable that, had he been allowed to live, he would have come to a modern day understanding of race. That is amazing considering the culture in which he was immersed.
And that's why we have to actually look to Lincoln as an example. Because even though his point of view was skewed and bent, he was thinking for himself instead of following the crowd, and that is what makes him remarkable.
So, yeah, Lincoln was a racist and that’s the truth. But the truth also is that he was a kind, loving, deeply compassionate man who thought for himself. I don’t think it’s fair to despise him for his ignorance any more than it would be fair to despise the slaves for theirs.
I don't think it's fair to stand within a culture of awareness and tolerance that was, in part, created by Lincoln and his example and despise him.
I also think (becasue that's all this is, theories and thoughts) that we have to be careful. If Lincoln and so many others were led astray by the culture of the day, we stand in similar peril. The lesson I take from Lincoln is to try to never just follow the crowd; to never accept that something is right or wrong without examining the evidence and searching my own soul.
I'll end with what Fredrick Douglass had to say in a candid tribute to Lincoln at the unveiling of the Emancipation Memorial. A tribute in which he did not fail to point out Lincoln's faults:
"Can any colored man, or any white man friendly to the freedom of all men, ever forget the night which followed the first day of January 1863, when the world was to see if Abraham Lincoln would prove to be as good as his word?"
Now, I love Abraham Lincoln. I think he was a great man who did great things. Even the fact that he suffered from depression makes me love him because he managed to trudge on in spite of it.
My favorite Abe story is about a young Abe and Ann Rutledge. He reportedly loved her deeply even though she was engaged to another man and went into a depression after she died of typhoid. The story goes that the night of the first rainfall after her burial Abe rushed away, startling his friends.
When he didn’t return they went looking for him and found him holding an umbrella over her grave. They approached him, asking for an explanation and he reportedly wept, “I cannot bear that it should rain upon her.”
That story may be an exagerration or just flat untrue. I mean, certainly today that language sounds unbelievable, but that’s the way they talked back then. Proper grammar. Beautiful prose being completely commonplace…
Disease! Death! Prejudicial Ignorance! Enslavement! Insufficient Sanitation!
Okay, sorry about that. I had to remind myself why I really am glad I didn’t live in the nineteenth century.
What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Lincoln.
The fact is that Lincoln, like most abolitionists, was a product of the culture of the time: A culture that viewed slaves of African decent as little more than animals. I'm thinking that people of the time kind of viewed them in a similar way to the way we view animal rights activists.
Note: I am not in any way, shape or form saying that people with more melanin are animals or animal like. Well, any more than any of us is. I am saying that back in the nineteenth century the general consensus was that they were just a notch or two above animals and, for the record, the general consensus was wrong (as it often is).
Now, there were the “moderate” abolitionists like Lincoln who recognized the vicious cruelty being perpetrated by slave traders and owners but “understood” that darker persons were inferior. They actually believed that slavery was so wrong, there was no need to liberate slaves. If you prevented new states from legalizing it and enforced it's ban in other states, the system of slavery would collapse.
This is oddly similar to the tack we took on Communism. We never outright fought to destroy the U.S.S.R. We just did everything we could to keep communism from spreading and waited for it to collapse.
Huh...I'm not really making a point there. It just strikes me as odd. Anyway...
There were radicals, like John Brown, who were the PETA of their day. Insisting, not only that the cruelty stop immediately, but that slaves be given all the rights of other men.
When you look at Lincoln’s life, you can see his opinion changing. The reason? I think it was information. I think Lincoln was ignorant. His heart was in the right place but his understanding of the abilities and nature of visibly darker persons was based mostly on second hand information. If he actually had the opportunity to meet a freed slave, that person had been deprived of even the most basic education.
Remember me talking about how much the culture of the time valued grammar? Think of the worst Grammar Nazi you’ve ever met and populate the world with them. These people prized oration and elucidation so highly, and there you have the slaves: deprived of anything remotely resembling an education and that wasn't accidental.
Then Lincoln met Fredrick Douglas. Fredrick Douglas was a GREAT man. (And, seriously, someone needs to make biopic of his life while Morgan Freeman is still able to play the lead role. I'm just saying...)
When he was a boy he was given as a “house boy slave” to a young couple upon their marriage. The young woman had never been around slaves and, thus, treated young Frederick as she would any other child. She gave him chores around the house and set aside time each day for education.
When her husband, a man well schooled in the slave culture, learned of the lessons he stopped them immediately. His reaction was so violent, the extremely intelligent Frederick Douglas, recognized that something about an educated slave was threatening. So, he carried on teaching himself and educating himself.
Frederick Douglas was eloquent. He was so well read and well spoken that even many abolitionists couldn’t bring themselves to believe that he was the real deal. They speculated that he was simply parroting the words of others. That's how deep the belief that darker pigmentation meant a person was, well, somehow less than a person.
Now, Lincoln and Douglas didn't always agree. Douglas critisized the fact that Lincoln initially merely opposed the expansion of slavery and not emancipation. However, Lincoln's interaction with men like Douglas, men of darker pigmentation that disproved what he had been taught, were the key to his growth as a man. When Lincoln met Douglas, he didn't stupidly and rigidly cling to the belief that all darker people were inherintly stupid like so many others did.
Even the people working to free slaves were colored by the propoganda of the time and limited interaction with former slaves who had been deprived of education and traumatized by their experiences. They made the mistake of confusing ignorance with unintelligence.
That ignorance was steadfastly maintained for just that purpose and given this zealously maintained ignorance among dark folks, it’s not surprising that an equally distressing level of ignorance was maintained among light folks.
What’s my point?
Yes, Abraham Lincoln had an ignorant understanding of skin pigmentation. He was a racist, but not in the way we think of racism today, and probably not for all of his life.
Today, the proof of the equality of man is all around us. People of darker pigmentation speak the same language, have been permitted to achieve high levels of education, they have been allowed to make incredible and significant contributions to our society and culture. Well, some of them have been allowed (that's going to need to be another post).
If you are a racist today, it is because you are stupidly, willfully ignorant.
The fact that Lincoln, over the course of his life, continued to refine his opinion of slaves and those of darker pigmentation is remarkable. It is conceivable that, had he been allowed to live, he would have come to a modern day understanding of race. That is amazing considering the culture in which he was immersed.
And that's why we have to actually look to Lincoln as an example. Because even though his point of view was skewed and bent, he was thinking for himself instead of following the crowd, and that is what makes him remarkable.
So, yeah, Lincoln was a racist and that’s the truth. But the truth also is that he was a kind, loving, deeply compassionate man who thought for himself. I don’t think it’s fair to despise him for his ignorance any more than it would be fair to despise the slaves for theirs.
I don't think it's fair to stand within a culture of awareness and tolerance that was, in part, created by Lincoln and his example and despise him.
I also think (becasue that's all this is, theories and thoughts) that we have to be careful. If Lincoln and so many others were led astray by the culture of the day, we stand in similar peril. The lesson I take from Lincoln is to try to never just follow the crowd; to never accept that something is right or wrong without examining the evidence and searching my own soul.
I'll end with what Fredrick Douglass had to say in a candid tribute to Lincoln at the unveiling of the Emancipation Memorial. A tribute in which he did not fail to point out Lincoln's faults:
"Can any colored man, or any white man friendly to the freedom of all men, ever forget the night which followed the first day of January 1863, when the world was to see if Abraham Lincoln would prove to be as good as his word?"
Saturday, January 24, 2009
I Am NOT Saying Obama Is Hitler: I Pledge
I happened to be playing around on YouTube and saw this commercial put together by a bunch of celebrities.
It was disturbing.
Okay, not completely. Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51kAw4OTlA0
First, I gotta say that the abject hero worship of Obama is, well, disturbing. He's just a politician. He's a good politician but a politician nonetheless.
He is not the end all be all. He will not wave a magic wand and cure the world's ills. He will not give all children who lose a tooth a pony.
This doesn't mean I think he insincere about wanting to change things for the better. I actually respect him and have been impressed by his first acts as President.
I'm just weirded out by the unabashed hero worship. I'm a fan of history. People got this worked up about characters like Stalin and Hitler.
Clarification: I am not saying Obama is anything like Stalin or Hitler.
However, when people start drooling like idiots around a politician, I get the heeby geebies. Why? Because, it edges into blind devotion. Blind devotion to a leader doesn't typically end well.
However, I'm still loving the message of the video, even though the beginning and ending kind of creep me out.
Yeah, I know. I never claimed to make sense.
Anyway, if you followed the link you saw a bunch of celebreties pledging to do simple things that will make the world better. Things like getting to know their neighbors, recycling, not using plastic bags at the store.
The thing is, most people don't do these things because they know that individually, it doesn't do much good.
For example, I Pledge to continue riding my bike and the bus to and from work during the week and I Pledge to work from home as much as is allowed by my company.
I've been doing this for about four months and it hasn't been easy. The riding itself was hard because, when I started, I was "flabby, fat and lazy". But just a few weeks of pedaling got rid of the sore muscles, if not all the fat...grumble, grumble.
Then there's the fact that my husband can't drop off the monkey (my son) at daycare AND pick him up. The daycare doesn't open until 6:30 and my bus arrives at between 6:50 and 6:55 and is a fair distance from my house. It's also unreliable. Since I can't be sure to pick the monkey up, I drop him off in the morning. My hubby leaves early and drives back home in time to retrieve the monkay and all is well.
So, I drop off the monkey in the car, drive back home, get on my bike and pedal like the Furries are after me. (That's not a typo.) Translation: my morning isn't a leisurely ride. It's pedal to the...um...it's just a lot of pedalling. If anything, and I mean anything goes wrong in my morning routine I will miss my bus and have to wait a half an hour for the next one which makes me late, late, late.
But none of those things have been my biggest problem. The biggest problem has been the nay sayers.
The people shaking their heads and looking at me like I'm insane are annoying. The fact that my office doesn't have a bike wrack, won't let me lock my bike by the front or back entrance and make me park on the loading dock by the dumpster is really annoying.
But it's the people who talk to me about how it doesn't make a difference that are truly discouraging.
Why? Because they're right. Me doing it all by myself doesn't really make that much of a difference.
However, I think that if I keep doing it, I might, just maybe encourage someone else to do it or something similar. If more people ride the bus, there might be more buses and bus routes. If there are more buses and bus routes, the public transporation system is more convenient. If it's more convenient, even more people might use it. If more people use public transportation...
Well, it would make a HUGE difference.
I think that's the problem with most small steps. Individually, we often don't see the point.
The thing I love about that I Pledge video is that it shows us other people doing the little things. If we see enough people pledging and doing the little things, maybe we'll all do those little things and they can grow up and be the big things we always hoped they'd be.
It was disturbing.
Okay, not completely. Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51kAw4OTlA0
First, I gotta say that the abject hero worship of Obama is, well, disturbing. He's just a politician. He's a good politician but a politician nonetheless.
He is not the end all be all. He will not wave a magic wand and cure the world's ills. He will not give all children who lose a tooth a pony.
This doesn't mean I think he insincere about wanting to change things for the better. I actually respect him and have been impressed by his first acts as President.
I'm just weirded out by the unabashed hero worship. I'm a fan of history. People got this worked up about characters like Stalin and Hitler.
Clarification: I am not saying Obama is anything like Stalin or Hitler.
However, when people start drooling like idiots around a politician, I get the heeby geebies. Why? Because, it edges into blind devotion. Blind devotion to a leader doesn't typically end well.
However, I'm still loving the message of the video, even though the beginning and ending kind of creep me out.
Yeah, I know. I never claimed to make sense.
Anyway, if you followed the link you saw a bunch of celebreties pledging to do simple things that will make the world better. Things like getting to know their neighbors, recycling, not using plastic bags at the store.
The thing is, most people don't do these things because they know that individually, it doesn't do much good.
For example, I Pledge to continue riding my bike and the bus to and from work during the week and I Pledge to work from home as much as is allowed by my company.
I've been doing this for about four months and it hasn't been easy. The riding itself was hard because, when I started, I was "flabby, fat and lazy". But just a few weeks of pedaling got rid of the sore muscles, if not all the fat...grumble, grumble.
Then there's the fact that my husband can't drop off the monkey (my son) at daycare AND pick him up. The daycare doesn't open until 6:30 and my bus arrives at between 6:50 and 6:55 and is a fair distance from my house. It's also unreliable. Since I can't be sure to pick the monkey up, I drop him off in the morning. My hubby leaves early and drives back home in time to retrieve the monkay and all is well.
So, I drop off the monkey in the car, drive back home, get on my bike and pedal like the Furries are after me. (That's not a typo.) Translation: my morning isn't a leisurely ride. It's pedal to the...um...it's just a lot of pedalling. If anything, and I mean anything goes wrong in my morning routine I will miss my bus and have to wait a half an hour for the next one which makes me late, late, late.
But none of those things have been my biggest problem. The biggest problem has been the nay sayers.
The people shaking their heads and looking at me like I'm insane are annoying. The fact that my office doesn't have a bike wrack, won't let me lock my bike by the front or back entrance and make me park on the loading dock by the dumpster is really annoying.
But it's the people who talk to me about how it doesn't make a difference that are truly discouraging.
Why? Because they're right. Me doing it all by myself doesn't really make that much of a difference.
However, I think that if I keep doing it, I might, just maybe encourage someone else to do it or something similar. If more people ride the bus, there might be more buses and bus routes. If there are more buses and bus routes, the public transporation system is more convenient. If it's more convenient, even more people might use it. If more people use public transportation...
Well, it would make a HUGE difference.
I think that's the problem with most small steps. Individually, we often don't see the point.
The thing I love about that I Pledge video is that it shows us other people doing the little things. If we see enough people pledging and doing the little things, maybe we'll all do those little things and they can grow up and be the big things we always hoped they'd be.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Lady Blue Hands and the Doorknob of Doom!
--I'm standing there staring at the door and wondering how I can get out without actually touching anything.--
This morning I got a lovely surprise. An "invitation" from my employer to participate in a random drug test. Like I said, lovely.
I arrive and, after a bit of paperwork, am handed the cup.
I find myself worrying if I have enough in the tank to fill it to the indicated line, proving I'm not on drugs. If I were on drugs, I'd be worried about what was in my piss and not the amount of piss in my bladder.
I tinkle in the cup and, unfortunately, on my hand.
EW!
Okay, EW! EW! EW!
My two year old has a potty that collects his urine for disposal in the toilet but I have to dangle a small cup manually?
I immediately put the cup down and start wiping my hands with toilet paper. There are about five signs in the small bathroom advising me to NOT FLUSH and they employ the ultimate threat, I'd have to pee in a cup again.
So, I've got the ickily warm cup in my hand and I'm looking at the doorknob. I'm thinking about the traces of urine on my hands and how many people must come and go in this drug testing facility and, of course, of all the traces of urine on all their hands and all their hands grasping that doorknob.
I'm TRAPPED! I'm trapped in a tiny room that is probably so completely covered in urine trace, shining a black light would cause it to glow so brightly we could signal ALIENS.
I finally put the cup down again and pull out more toilet paper. I wrap up my hand, pick up the cup, grasp the doorknob and get out. A woman in blue gloves takes the cup from me and I practically run to the sink to wash my hands. Except I still have toilet paper wrapped around one of them.
I look for a trash bin. I don't find a trash bin. I ask about a trash bin and the woman in blue gloves looks at me like I'm crazy as I explain about the toilet paper.
Of course, she feels fine grabbing up urine covered doorknobs, she's wearing gloves.
She rolls her eyes at me, grabs the toilet paper off of my hand and, opening a cabinet, trashes it.
With relief, I turn to the sink. I turn on the hot water and only the hot water. I get cold water.
What?You make me pee in a cup and you don't even provide hot water with which to wash my hands afterward?
I compensate with lots of anti bacterial soap and sigh a huge sigh of relief. I feel clean again.
Meanwhile, Lady Blue Hands has been filling out paperwork. She tells me to sign about five different places and, gulp, holds out the pen.
The pen she's holding in her blue gloves.
The blue gloves with which she grabbed my urine covered toilet paper.
I'm wondering exactly what to do here. I mean, she rolled her eyes when I explained about the doorknob, what's she going to do if I carry cross contamination a step further?
While I've been pondering this, she's been holding the pen. Now, she's shaking it at me and saying, "Ma'am?" All I can think is, EW!
I finally take the proferred pen petulantly and sign, date, sign, date...done! I practically throw the pen onto the counter and rush back to the sink.
Lady Blue Hands is really looking at my sample now. I think she thinks it shows potential for a hit. I don't care.I'm done!
Done! Done! Done!
There aught to be laws against random drug testing. I mean, you shouldn't be able to put someone through that without them at least acting suspicious, right?
This morning I got a lovely surprise. An "invitation" from my employer to participate in a random drug test. Like I said, lovely.
I arrive and, after a bit of paperwork, am handed the cup.
I find myself worrying if I have enough in the tank to fill it to the indicated line, proving I'm not on drugs. If I were on drugs, I'd be worried about what was in my piss and not the amount of piss in my bladder.
I tinkle in the cup and, unfortunately, on my hand.
EW!
Okay, EW! EW! EW!
My two year old has a potty that collects his urine for disposal in the toilet but I have to dangle a small cup manually?
I immediately put the cup down and start wiping my hands with toilet paper. There are about five signs in the small bathroom advising me to NOT FLUSH and they employ the ultimate threat, I'd have to pee in a cup again.
So, I've got the ickily warm cup in my hand and I'm looking at the doorknob. I'm thinking about the traces of urine on my hands and how many people must come and go in this drug testing facility and, of course, of all the traces of urine on all their hands and all their hands grasping that doorknob.
I'm TRAPPED! I'm trapped in a tiny room that is probably so completely covered in urine trace, shining a black light would cause it to glow so brightly we could signal ALIENS.
I finally put the cup down again and pull out more toilet paper. I wrap up my hand, pick up the cup, grasp the doorknob and get out. A woman in blue gloves takes the cup from me and I practically run to the sink to wash my hands. Except I still have toilet paper wrapped around one of them.
I look for a trash bin. I don't find a trash bin. I ask about a trash bin and the woman in blue gloves looks at me like I'm crazy as I explain about the toilet paper.
Of course, she feels fine grabbing up urine covered doorknobs, she's wearing gloves.
She rolls her eyes at me, grabs the toilet paper off of my hand and, opening a cabinet, trashes it.
With relief, I turn to the sink. I turn on the hot water and only the hot water. I get cold water.
What?You make me pee in a cup and you don't even provide hot water with which to wash my hands afterward?
I compensate with lots of anti bacterial soap and sigh a huge sigh of relief. I feel clean again.
Meanwhile, Lady Blue Hands has been filling out paperwork. She tells me to sign about five different places and, gulp, holds out the pen.
The pen she's holding in her blue gloves.
The blue gloves with which she grabbed my urine covered toilet paper.
I'm wondering exactly what to do here. I mean, she rolled her eyes when I explained about the doorknob, what's she going to do if I carry cross contamination a step further?
While I've been pondering this, she's been holding the pen. Now, she's shaking it at me and saying, "Ma'am?" All I can think is, EW!
I finally take the proferred pen petulantly and sign, date, sign, date...done! I practically throw the pen onto the counter and rush back to the sink.
Lady Blue Hands is really looking at my sample now. I think she thinks it shows potential for a hit. I don't care.I'm done!
Done! Done! Done!
There aught to be laws against random drug testing. I mean, you shouldn't be able to put someone through that without them at least acting suspicious, right?
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