Christmas Cookies

Quoted from random e-mail:

Christmas Cookie Ingredients

1 cup water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup brown sugar
1 lemon juiced
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups dried fruit
1 bottle Crown Royal

Instructions:

Sniff the Crown Royal to check quality. Pour 1 level cup and drink it to be sure it is of the highest quality.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again. (At this point it's best to make sure the Crown Royal hasn't gone bad. Try another cup...just in case.)

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck
in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor...Mix on
the turner. If the dried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it
loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Crown Royal to check for
tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check
the Crown Royal. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one
table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash
the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to
beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish
the Crown Royal and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS!!!