The First Day

I work in Cube Land. It’s a magical place of in-between. There are these sort-of-but-not-really walls. People here are sort of friends (but not really) and it’s sort of your home away from home (but not really). The thing is you can’t escape your co-workers. You can try but then you get a black mark on your performance review.

(No, really, you do. I actually got a black mark saying basically that I worked too hard. I apparently “just sat at my desk and did my work” and I wasn’t “engaging with coworkers or making any attempt to be social”. My supervisor actually asked if I watched Survivor and when I said no suggested I start watching the show. She said that “the team” all watched and it would be a great opportunity for me to join in socially. Really. I’m not making this up.)

There are a few phenomena that are interesting in cube land. One of my favorites is the seemingly endless battle between those with hygiene and those without. The combatants are firmly entrenched in the restrooms but the fight occasionally extends to the communal refrigerators.

One of my favorite phenomena is the First Day After Christmas. The First Day is fun for me. People tend to put on this pretence of being grumpy about going back to work but generally are somewhat relieved to be free of the chaos of holidays that are usually filled with people who don’t know where to put their odds & ends and how the appliances work. Coming back to the quiet order of work is a relief but we can’t really say that so there is this affectation of “I don’t want to be here”.

The real fun though, is the gift display. People go to fetch coffee in new shiny World’s Greatest Dad mugs or wearing ties with a binary pattern that when decoded say, “Ties Suck.” They proudly wear inappropriately ornate but new jewelry or walk about with bulging pockets that conceal this or that new and exciting gadget.

Then there are the stories. I can tell the story of taking the kids to the movies and how Jonathan at one point apparently got tired of actually picking up the popcorn, just stuck his head into the tub and started munching. There will be present stories and burnt Turkey stories and missed flight stories. This year I’m sure there will be a few stranded by flooding stories.

Yes, on the First Day we’ll all whine about work and show off of gifted gadgets and tell tales of Turkey turmoil…oh, and work…sort of.